Overcoming the Natural Man

As I continue to read the books I mentioned in last week’s post, I have had the opportunity to do some soul searching and self reflection about my own marriage based on what I am learning.

This week in “Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage” by H. Wallace Goddard, PhD, the chapter I read focused on sacrifice in marriage, and submitting our will to the Lord. There are some profoundly beautiful and thought provoking passages in this book! One particular passage provided me the opportunity to examine my expectations. It’s fairly long, but worth the read!

“In every relationship, there is an inevitable tension. It is often worse in marriage than in other relationships, in part because we share so much-money, time, food, space-even our own bodies. Marriage is not only intense but can also last for decades. As we are challenged to form our own little Zion, the natural man resists. ‘For the natural [spouse] is an enemy to God [and partner], and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever…’ (Mosiah 3:19)

Our untamed, uncivilized, unconquered, unchanged natures are ill suited for Zion. We have limited choices: to chafe and struggle in unsatisfying relationships, or put our natures on the altar for God to change, or we can depart Zion, disenchanted. Those are the options. Man remains forever enemies to God and marriage-unless we yield ‘to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father’ (Mosiah 3:19).”

As I took inventory of my “natural man” tendencies within my own marriage, I thought about how many times I have made the choice to “chafe and struggle” rather than submit to the Lord’s will for my marriage. Loving and serving my husband shouldn’t be based on whether I think he has loved and served me enough. Rather, it should be based on my desire to create a Zion home where commitment to covenants and commitment to the Lord are the focus.

As I thought about serving my husband and sacrificing for his needs, I was reminded of a touching video about sacrifice and true love in a marriage. I dare you not to cry when you watch it!

Goddard points out that making the choice to submit is not something we can do once and forget it. It takes a new commitment each day to choose the Savior or the natural man. As we practice choosing Christ, the choice becomes easier. I need to see my husband as the Savior sees him: full of goodness and potential. I have often reflected how much easier it is to see the best in our children than our spouses. This week, I am committed to extending the same grace to my husband as I do to my children. Want to join me?