Faith in Jesus Christ

This week as I pondered the joys and sorrows that are present in every marriage, I enjoyed the opportunity to reflect on how faith in, and commitment to Jesus Christ allows us to rise above our challenges and seek an eternal perspective. 

In my own marriage, I have often selfishly and stubbornly held that my way of thinking or my perspective was the right one, and have refused to see my husband's side. I have judged my husband and based my positive feelings toward him on his conformity to my expectations. In these instances I have ignored not only my own weaknesses, but have showed a severe lack of faith. I have excluded the Savior from our relationship, and have pridefully attempted to steer the ship without a perfect knowledge of the destination. 

In Goddard's book "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage", he perfectly articulates why we need to trust that the Lord is at work perfecting each of us. He says:

"Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ requires that we trust that God is working to rescue our spouses even as He is working to rescue us. When we have energizing faith in Christ, we trust His progress with our partner. The more we trust God's purposes in perfecting our partners (and don't try to take over the job ourselves), the more we all progress."

That statement was so meaningful to me. My husband and I are together to help each other become what the Lord desires. Each of our strengths and weaknesses are exactly what the other needs. I thought about our first example of earthly marriage, Adam and Eve. They chose to go from the Garden of Eden where they faced no opposition, to this mortal existence fraught with thorns and weeds, where we must work out our salvation amidst trials and tragedies. They knew that without sorrow, they could never know real joy. I had never thought about what it must have been like for them as they progressed through the phases of marriage, learning to work together as husband and wife, then as parents of the children that came to them. I never pondered what it was like for them to lose a child at the hand of another child. How did they support each other? How did they rise above such a trial? 

I read a poem this week that moved me deeply, and gave me an entirely new perspective on Adam and Eve.

Lamentation
by Arta Romney Ballif

And God said, “BE FRUITFUL, AND MULTIPLY –“
Multiply, multiply – echoes multiply

God said, “I WILL GREATLY MULTIPLY THY SORROW – “
Thy sorrow, sorrow, sorrow –

I have gotten a man from the Lord
I have traded the fruit of the garden for fruit of my body
For a laughing bundle of humanity.

And now another one who looks like Adam
We shall call this one, “Abel.”
It is a lovely name“Abel.”

Cain, Abel, the world is yours.
God set the sun in the heaven to light your days
To warm the flocks, to kernel the grain
He illuminated your nights with stars
He made the trees and the fruit thereof yielding seed
He made every living thing, the wheat, the sheep, the cattle
For your enjoyment
And, behold, it is very good.

Adam? Adam
Where art thou?
Where are the boys?
The sky darkens with clouds.
Adam, is that you?
Where is Abel?
He is long caring for his flocks.
The sky is black and the rain hammers.
Are the ewes lambing
In this storm?
Why your troubled face, Adam?
Are you ill?
Why so pale, so agitated?
The wind will pass
The lambs will birth
With Abel’s help.

Dead?
What is dead?

Merciful God!

Hurry, bring warm water
I’ll bathe his wounds
Bring clean clothes
Bring herbs.
I’ll heal him.
I am trying to understand.
You said, “Abel is dead.”
But I am skilled with herbs
Remember when he was seven
The fever? Remember how—

Herbs will not heal?
Dead?

And Cain? Where is Cain?
Listen to that thunder.

Cain cursed?
What has happened to him?
God said, “A fugitive and a vagabond?”

But God can’t do that.
They are my sons, too.
I gave them birth
In the valley of pain.
Adam, try to understand
In the valley of pain
I bore them
fugitive?
vagabond?

This is his home
This the soil he loved
Where he toiled for golden wheat
For tasseled corn.

To the hill country?
There are rocks in the hill country
Cain can’t work in the hill country
The nights are cold
Cold and lonely, and the wind gales.

Quick, we must find him
A basket of bread and his coat
I worry, thinking of him wandering
With no place to lay his head.
Cain cursed?
A wanderer, a roamer?
Who will bake his bread and mend his coat?

Abel, my son dead?
And Cain, my son, a fugitive
Two sons
Adam, we had two sons
Both – Oh, Adam –
multiply
sorrow

Dear God, Why?
Tell me again about the fruit
Why?
Please, tell me again
Why?

Can you feel Eve's confusion and pain as she tries to make sense of something so senseless? Adam and Eve had to progress together, learning about sorrow, along with joy. They accepted the Atonement and looked for the Lord's guidance in their lives. I am committed to having more faith, and more trust in my Savior, and to putting my husband first in my life.